Me and My Complex-PTSD
My brain chose the ostrich approach to deal with my childhood sexual abuse
There hasn’t been much discussion about it, but a vast swath of 1950’s society was affected by trauma. The adult generation had spent their teens in a years long economic depression before war radically disrupted any concept of normal living. Later, tens of thousands of traumatized military personnel returned home. They were followed shortly after by the hordes of refuges seeking safety and sustenance.
Despite the economic boom, the big cars with lots of chrome, the music of Sinatra and Elvis, there was a lot of psychic pain. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that my occasional bizarre, but alarming behaviour was not addressed in any meaningful way.
I probably had my first blackout rage event at age 6. I remember my mom having been called to the school to come take me home. As she was pulling me along in my wagon, I was wondering why. I knew things were not good when she said “Just wait. Your father will be home soon.”
I told my mom (threatened?) that I would scratch my wrists and say dad did it if he touched me. I don’t recall much being done about my behaviour; life just went on. I must have been a real little s..t to deal with! It was a long time, perhaps years before I would have another blackout event.
